Lot of people said it couldn’t be done.
They said, “It simply can’t be done.” They said, “You can’t fit 4 pairs of ski boots, 4 helmets, 4 pairs of goggles, 4 pairs of gloves, 4 buffs and XL Costco pack of handwarmers into a Patagonia Black Hole Duffel Bag! It’s only 120 liters, man!” After a while they said, “Do you even understand the fundamental physical properties of matter?”
But those people who said that were wrong. It can be done, and it was done. By me, yesterday. In the words of the philosopher Bertrand Russell, “Anything that exists is possible.”
In my community/culture/crew – typically – the dad gets the least attention of any member of the family. The wife is focused on the kids, and the kids are focused on themselves first, and their mom second. That is exactly as it should be. If my wife was oriented more towards me than our kids, I’d think her unfit for motherhood. In fact, whenever my wife or kids are focused on me, something’s gone sideways. Again, that’s as it should be. I’m definitely not complaining, and I wouldn’t trade my relatively cruise-y low-profile role with a mom or a kid – no way. Those are way harder.
A lot of dads I know wear that low rank as a badge of honor – not to be martyrs, more to be Stoics. The only dad behaviors that draw attention are errors and failures. A lot of us just handle business, keep ‘er steady, and get whatever affirmation we get, which is often from each other. Since I left I’ve realized how good my buddies are about that, to me and each other. But they’re not around, so…self high five!
Truth be told, no one said any of those things I said people said above. They said, “Dad why are you still messing with that bag?” They said, “Babe, those helmets can just go loose in the back.” And after a while they said, “Can we go?”
Did any of them notice when I later unloaded the car in just one trip? Nope. Did any of them notice the vehicle’s sight lines being unobscured for the family’s safety? Hard Nope. You guys want to see the picture of it zipped up? Yeah, you do.
Earth to Ben 